Requiem: A New Flower Blossomed
by Takou33
Summary: AU, set in the U.S. Strap yourselves in and enjoy this KakaxSaku ride. "With an ending, there is a new beginning". Rated M for violence, language, and citrus.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

 **This is AU set in the US. Strap yourselves in and enjoy this KakaxSaku ride. Please leave me your thoughts! Major OOC. Rated M for language and citrus.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **-Tk**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 **SPOV**

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be doing this with him. The joy I used to feel had long since subsided and in its wake were residual emotions of dread.

I was thrown on my back with the wind escaping me faster than I had time to register. Spots danced in my vision as I wheezed, awaiting the verbal onslaught from my perpetrator.

My boyfriend.

A mop of fiery red hair coupled with a concerned face entered my hazy vision as my breathing finally began to regulate.

"Sakura, are you alright?" he placed his hands on either said of my head atop the cushioned mat we had been sparring on.

Trapped in his arms, I felt it was symbolic of the way I was trapped in this relationship as well. But I love him don't I? He loves me too. And when you find someone that you love who loves you back, you hold on to them.

My father ingrained this in me at the tender age of 9 when our nuclear family household turned into a single family household. He was never the same after mom died. _We_ were never the same after mom died. But we had each other, and he always doted on me as best he could. So I heeded all the advice he ever gave me, to the moon and back. Even when my heart said otherwise sometimes.

"I'm fine," I managed to get out through gritted teeth. My body appeared to be bracing itself against any pain but in reality it was awaiting his bipolar tendencies.

After his father committed suicide he had almost little to no control over his emotions. He was broken. And in him, I saw myself as a child when I had found out of my own mother's death. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to rid him of any pain. I wanted to help build him up and not allow him to tear himself down. But I neglected to realize he could tear _me_ down in the process. I'm always so ready to help others, never once placing myself into the equation.

"Then why would you leave yourself open to me like that? Where the fuck is your head at?" His face contorted from one of concern to the familiar anger with a twinge of impassiveness I was used to.

I rolled out from his caged arms and stood up, dusting my dark colored Gi as I went. "Listen, I had a very long day at the hospital and can't seem to focus. Let's just wrap up." I walked away, already rolling my eyes to the heavens at the continued negative energy exuding from his person. Really, Jiu Jitsu used to be fun with him. I got just as much as I gave and he never went easy on me. It used to be a good way to reign in any negative emotion and direct it into a physical activity for him; however much like me, it turned out to only be a temporary fix.

It wasn't enough. I wasn't enough.

He was a black emotional pit that was sucking me in and I was drowning. But I refused to let him endure himself alone. He needed someone. He needed _me_. Even if he wasn't still the same man I fell in love with three years ago, he needed me.

 _When will you ever let your happiness matter?_

These thoughts nagged me daily, but I was always taught in med school that the overall product was bigger than the sum of its parts. I just had to be strong.

I was yanked back into the present by a strong grip on my shoulder bringing me to a halt and turning me to face him fully. His pale blue green eyes swam with confusion, hurt, and ire.

"Do you not want to spar with me anymore? I'm struggling with the signs you've been throwing at me these last few months Sakura," his eyes gazed at me imploringly, warning me not to say the wrong thing. I read underneath the underneath and saw what he was really asking.

 _Do you want to leave me?_

I steeled my nerves and chanted my father words of wisdom in my head as I answered him, "Gaara, you know it's not like that. These last few months have been rocky, but you know that I care about you."

I watched as he visibly relaxed and all of his anger seemed to subside. And just like that, he was back to being the rational Gaara I knew before. I smiled tenderly at him, wishing that he would stay this way. I knew that he wouldn't though, and this small outburst was minimal on the totem pole of his abilities.

My closest friends began questioning our relationship about a year ago. I'd taken to only seeing them sometimes, never staying for more than a couple hours, and consistently checking my phone for calls and texts. They joked at first at how I must have made Gaara fall insanely in love, something only I could do, but then one night two of my best friends overheard the nature of one of his many calls.

He was furious I had missed his first 3 calls due to leaving my phone in a cubby as we rode a rollercoaster. He laid into me over and over, taking out any pent up emotional frustrations he hadn't already expelled for the day and demanded I leave the park and head straight to his apartment 'or else'. I was more scared of what he would do to himself or someone else if I wasn't around versus if I was. That was enough to strike some panic in me and I left, leaving curious and upset faces in my wake.

I'd never divulged to any of my friends the details of the handful of times I was on the receiving end of his physical frustration but at the same time I didn't think I had to. They knew. They'd seen me a few times not wearing a jacket and jeans, and in turn had seen the tell-tale fingerprint sized bruises. Gaara never means to hurt me, I know it. But sometimes he just can't control his rage. I forgive him when he apologizes and hold him while he cries.

That was normal, right?

He ghosted a finger down my cheek and cupped my chin, "You know you're mine, right?" His eyes flickered back and forth between mine as if he was searching for something. "I love you."

"And I love you," I said the words with as much conviction as I could muster, but they didn't hold the significance the used to. This was a different kind of love now.

xxx

I'd barely made it in the house before my cell phone was screaming bloody murder into the silent space.

I was happy I was able to still keep my townhome across town from Gaara. He insisted that we move in together and that he needed me around more often, but I was firm against that notion. I knew that living together would be the start of the deterioration of our relationship, but didn't tell him as much. How could I? I would literally waste away to a shell of a human being, all my emotions and energy being sucked into his black abyss faster than I could ever dream of.

No. I wasn't ready to completely lose myself like that. Instead I insisted the hospital was eons closer to my home than his, which it was, and so was my father's home. He wasn't having any of it initially, but after my resolve hadn't waned, it was the one thing he had stopped fighting me on. Small miracles do exist.

It was a very nice upscale townhome that I could happily afford with my hospital salary. Being head nurse at such a young age had its benefits. My home was colored in lavenders, greys, whites, and deep purples. My foyer flowed up some steps into the living room which opened to a rather spacious kitchen with the most up to date appliances I could fit into it. I ran my toes over the faux sheep skin rug laying atop the deep hardwood floor of my living room before throwing myself onto my plush couch, answering my phone.

"What woman?" came my frank greeting.

"Are you alone?" she whispered into the receiver.

I laughed at her antics as well as internally cringed knowing that they were warranted given my particular choice in men.

"Yes, thank god. What's up?"

A sigh was heard on her end as well as her iterating to someone in the background that the 'coast was clear'. "Alright bitch, we're going out for drinks, so get dressed. And don't come out looking like a homeless grandma."

I groaned in frustration at the idea of going out and knowing the ensuing anxiety I would be feeling from constantly having to check my phone to make sure Gaara didn't blow up on me. I also didn't fancy the impending hangover that would be gracing me this beautiful Saturday morning if I did decide to go. This woman was known to drink like a fish – she and whoever she decided to bring along for torture. In this case me.

"Tsunade, you know how Gaara is," I bit my lip in anticipation of her outburst that was sure to come, "I don't think I'll be able to make it out. He'd be so mad I wasn't with him instead!"

"Oh for fuck's sake Sakura, man up. You're not even acting like the same girl I grew up knowing. This guy has you so twisted around his fingers and you don't even realize it! Plus, you know Kankuro would help you out, no questions asked. Besides, I already called him." She ended her rant almost feigning disinterest in having to elaborate how she had already swindled all of my excuses out the window.

I instantly perked up on the couch, "But I just left Gaara an hour ago and he didn't mention doing anything with Kankuro tonight." I sincerely hoped I was wrong though because now I actually was excited on the prospect of going out with my best friend. I needed someone to talk to. I felt like I had reached my breaking point recently with all of the negativity.

"Yeah, well he went to forcefully remove him from his home and distract him about a half hour ago. Good guy, ain't he?" I heard the smile in her voice and figured she probably looked something akin to the Cheshire Cat.

"Yeah, that and he was probably conned into doing it thanks to a busty female," I rolled my eyes, already feeling for the poor sap. It was no secret he was crushing on Tsunade – hard, and she really was a total minx always teasing him and never letting him have it.

"Oh, whatever," she said with a teasing lilt in her voice, "I'll be over in exactly 45 minutes so you better hurry."

We hung up and I sprang into action, taking a few quick moments to shower and do a quick shaving. I stood in front of my full length mirror in my bedroom in a black lace rob 10 minutes later, staring at my reflection. My emerald green eyes peered back at me and my freshly washed and towel dried pink tendrils flowed down to my navel. I undid my sash and slipped the robe from my shoulders inspecting every inch of my body. I wanted to be sure there were no fading marks or bruises from any accidental tussles with Gaara whether it be from Jiu Jitsu or not. I just didn't want Tsunade to give me any disapproving glances.

Satisfied with my assessment, I moved to my closet and walked to the back where I kept all of my going out clothes that rarely ever got touched. I plucked a delicate bronze silk tank top that dipped low in the front and transitioned to a teasing T strap in the back, leaving my back exposed. I forwent a bra for that reason and instead settled for some gel pasty covers. I pulled on a pair of black leather leggings with faux gold zippers on the front and pockets in the back, and pulled on some peep toe black knee high boots that laced in the front.

I set to doing my makeup, keeping it mostly minimal with eyeliner, mascara, and a cherry lip tint. I had just put on some accessories when I heard some incessant banging on my front door.

I grabbed my leather jacket and wallet on my way out, halting to scold Tsunade. I paused when I took in the form of Shizune next to my busty best friend.

"I come baring gifts," Tsunade giggled pointing at Shizune. She already had a small tinge of pink dusting her cheeks which led me to believe she had been pre-gaming and Shizune was actually just the only way she could get over here.

I pounced on Shizune so happy to see her after so many weeks of failed plans due to me. She looked as happy as ever in a long sleeve mesh black shirt, red bra, and tight fitting black pants with ankle boots. I sized her up and questioned, "That man you got sure has been good to you, hasn't he?"

She blushed brilliantly, the old Shizune making a return but nodded her head all the same.

"Yes, he's wonderful. He never makes me question my worth and beauty," she responded with a far off look in her eyes as her cheeks warmed.

I envied her in that moment.

I wanted to be with someone that made me feel beautiful. Someone that gave as much as they got. Someone that built me up too. It was all too one sided now. Gaara had long since made me stop feeling that way and I no longer held the spark that Shizune was exuding.

Tsunade must have sensed my discomfort as she leaned against my now closed door in her plunging white top, jacket, and dark blue jeans. "Alright kiddies, let's go get some more drinks!" she huffed, propelling herself towards the car.

Shizune and I side-eyed each other, knowing it was going to be a long eventful night with this blonde, brown eyed woman.

xxx

It was a little nippy outside on this Florida night in October. It was low 60s with a cool wind flowing through the bay area and I honestly couldn't wait to get inside the bar and put on a nice alcohol blanket. The bouncer checked our IDs unnecessarily and soon we were inside, taking in the dimly lit atmosphere with a stage that was set to the back. There were to different bars on either side of the establishment with a slew of high top tables and chairs set in the middle. Men and women of all ages stood and lounged in the casual atmosphere laughing with one another, some even conversing intimately.

Tsunade insisted Shizune and I find a table while she went to go and round up some drinks. I wouldn't be surprised if she managed to come back with an entire bottle.

We hijacked a recently vacated high top close to the back of the bar diagonal to the stage and began happily conversing.

"It's so good to finally see you out Sakura. I never thought I'd get the chance again!" Shizune gushed with some sadness in her voice.

I smiled fondly at her and teased her a bit to lighten the mood, "Oh I know you didn't miss me much. Genma must have been keeping you busy." She blushed scarlet at the accusation. "Where is he tonight anyway?"

"He's visiting some family over in Orlando for the weekend" she sighed wistfully.

Oh to be young and in love again. I internally rolled my eyes at my depressive antics. Something would have to give soon, I was barely recognizing myself.

Tsunade returned then with a massive bottle of sake and some shot glasses. I stared wide eyed at the bottle along with a few patrons around us, wondering how she conned the bartender into handing that over.

"Boobs can really do anything!" she cackled as she poured us shots.

We talked amicably for almost a half hour. Tsunade laying into me time and time again as Shizune nodded her head in exasperation. They wanted more for me. They saw me wasting away and were determined to try and help me in any way that they could. All I needed to do was say the words.

I was feeling pretty fuzzy after our bouts of shots and happy knowing I had the world's best friends it could offer. I took off my jacket and draped it over the back of my chair and noticed some sound technicians sets up a chair and guitar. It peeked my interest so I pivoted my body towards the stage, all the while continuing to watch Tsunade embarrass Shizune.

A figure in my peripherals took the stage and sat down, picking up the guitar and immediately playing some feather light melodies with practiced nimble fingers. He had dark Doc Marten boots, long lean legs covered in black denim, and a black and red striped loose fitting turtle neck that covered his broad shoulders and lower portion of his face. His eyes were hooded and lazy looking as he played. He had such a peculiar hair color, not silver but not white but also not grey and definitely dark at the roots. Did he dye it himself?

He was plain but not so plain at the same time, and he was handsome to me from what I could tell. My face started to heat and my pores prickled with sweat as I watched him play, watched his lithe fingers move over the frets. He finished his last chord and looking into the audience, directly into my soul it felt like. His mismatched deep grey and brown eye boarding on red in the lights captivated me. I released a slow breath I didn't know I was holding and basked in the feeling of a million cranes taking flight low in my tummy.

I think I wanted this man and it was a foreign feeling. I hadn't felt this invigorated in a long while so maybe it was the Sake talking. Few seconds had passed but it seemed like I was trapped in his gaze for hours underneath some sort of spell.

' _Come to Mama'_ my drunken brain promptly whispered to me

" _Hello,_ earth to Sakura!" Tsunade interrupted my internal musings and stare down with this mystery man.

I gazed back at her dazed and confused, "What!" I huffed, eyes flickering back to the mystery man as I saw him chuckling slightly it seemed while he shook his head and placed the guitar back in its stand.

"We've been talking to you, for fuck's sake. What's gotten into you?" Tsunade followed the flicker of my gaze and saw the retreating form of the mystery man. Her eyes widened as she looked between him and I repeatedly. "Oh, you want him!" She said a little too boisterously.

Shizune giggled from beside her and I cradled my flaming head in my hands, wishing that the heavens would eat me alive. Shizune knowingly slid me another shot of sake and I downed it gratefully, hoping it would take the embarrassing edge off.

Tsunade was up and out of her seat, heading in the direction mystery man had just gone before I could even protest.

I immediately spun on Shizune and grabbed her arm insisting that we had to leave before the blonde bimbo returned. Shizune's eyes danced with mirth as she giggle and pointed beyond my shoulder, muttering that a little change would be good for me.

Good for me? A little change? I had a boyfriend being distracted to an inch of his life by his cousin Kankuro clear across town. How would Tsunade hailing this mystery man down benefit me? Gaara would kill me!

I turned just in time to watch Tsunade happily slam back into her chair with her hand caged around her prey's forearm. A very nice, handsome, muscly forearm with a smattering of dark hair.

I snapped my eyes up to mystery man's face and immediately felt the familiar burn of my blush. I hoped to god he would just think it was the sake. His eyes, even more piercing in person, crinkled as he looked at my face so I assumed he was smiling at me. I could hardly tell from the turtle neck that extended far too high up his face.

He slid an unoccupied chair from another table up next to mine, not at all afraid to get too close. As he sat down his knees brushed against mine and I barely contained my squeak of surprise. I was going to _kill_ Tsunade and Shizune!

"Soo," Tsunade started off, leering at the two of us. She looking almost evil in the dim lighting of this bar and I swore she was knit from satan's soul himself. "What's your name?"

He glanced from Tsunade to me before turning his gaze to the table, absently picking at the marks that adorned the top. "Kakashi," he said in a velvety deep tone. Such a stark contrast to Gaara's voice.

At the thought of Gaara, my panic started to creep back into my drunken state and as if Shizune could sense it, she placed her hand over my knee under the table and smiled at me, giving a slight shake of her head.

I nodded back to her slightly and studied his body and face from the side. How do I even speak to him? What do I say? Surely once he finds out about the relationship I'm in he'll go running for the hills.

He turned his face towards me and just stared again like he had been while he was on stage. Once again I was trapped and powerless under his sinful gaze. He took in my attire, almost undressing me with his eyes, before bringing his stare back to my face. He stared at my lips and the remnants of my vanilla lip gloss. I subconsciously bit my lip, all of a sudden feeling parched as my body broke out into a sweat.

What the fuck was happening to me?

"Shots!" Tsunade screamed as she filled glasses and passed them around. She must have snagged one for Kakashi on the way back to the table. He picked up his glass and held it in front of his face with his large hand seemingly shielding his face to the other side of the table. "Cheers!" Tsunade screamed again as her and Shizune threw their heads back.

Kakashi stared at me as he hooked a finger in the top of his turtle neck and drug it down, having it pool around his clavicle. I was thinking it was extremely lickable but wasn't prepared to see how it dwarfed in comparison to his perfectly handsome and rugged face. He had a 5 'o clock shadow that wouldn't wait a minute, a straight slightly pointed nose, beautifully poised cheek bones, and a jaw that was cut for a god. This man was perfect, and must have known I thought was much as he chuckled and smiled, his perfect pearly whites peeking out for a few moments. He turned his attention back to his shot glass and took the shot before replacing his turtle neck.

I gushed, hard. I was sure there was a mark on my chair. I could do nothing but look away and take my own shot, still willing the heavens to open up and swallow me.

As the night progressed, I shamefully forgot that I was in a committed relationship, no matter how fucked up it had been over the last year. I let myself live in the moment and experience Kakashi for all he was worth.

He mainly asked questions about me, my hobbies, my likes and dislikes, how I had met the two bimbos that slipped off to dance with each other. I was enraptured in his velvety voice, twinkling eyes, and the strong hand that was planted on my knee as the other draped over the back of my seat. He completely encompassed my senses. He smelled of mint and spices, and my whole body was practically humming in response to his. I wondered if he felt like this or if he actually felt as casual as he came off. He'd seemingly changed my whole reality in a night, and I couldn't knock the feeling that I hadn't done the same to him.

The more I drank the more of a vixen I became; imagining him and me in precarious positions in a variety of places in my home. I knew it was wrong but I hadn't really been intimate with someone in months. Things with Gaara rarely ever made it into the bedroom; it was always an uncomfortable task for me. That's just what it was – a task.

I needed to sneak away and remove some discomfort. While Shizune and Tsunade were still gone, I excused myself to the bathroom, cheeks still red from constantly being around this man. I got some leers and catcalls on the way to the bathroom due to my attire and physical shape but ignored them as I hurried. I made it to the one unisex bathroom in the back of a long dark hallway and locked the door, sighing. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost took a step back because I didn't recognize the face staring back at me. My skin was flushed, my eyes hazy but bright and happy. I hadn't realized how lifeless I normally looked in the mirror. This man I hardly knew was breathing life into me.

I quickly got to work on removing my discomfort, which was in the form of a soaking wet pair of lace panties. I really would have worn something a little more practical had I known what I was getting into.

I laid some paper towels on the floor for me to stand on and removed my boots, pants, and panties before redressing and throwing the towels in the bin. I rather liked this lacy black pair so I tucked them into my back pocket. I fluffed my hair in the mirror and made sure I looked presentable before exiting and running right into a hard but pliant, warm surface.

Two hands steadied me before I apologized in by buzzed state, while trying to sidestep the person who's sent I almost recognized.

"Don't run off so soon," Kakashi implored with a teasing lilt in his voice.

I inwardly sighed at the realization that it was him, and my body hummed once again in response to his large hands on my bare arms. I smiled up at him. He was like a bean stalk even with my heels. He must have been at least 6'3".

"I figured you might need some saving. The men in this bar are treacherous," he joked, wiggling his eyebrows a little in the dim lighting, taking a step impossibly closer to me.

My senses were overloaded with him once again and I basked in the feeling, never wanting to lose it.

His hands slid from my arms and circled around to my back, sliding lower until the rested on the small of it. All I could see of his face were his eyes and up as his turtleneck was back in place. I reached up tentatively and tugged it down so it pooled again. A lazy smile took over his face and his hands dip lower, cupping my butt, squeezing. I jumped in surprised and my cheeks flushed as a giggle erupted from me. His lazy smile faltered as he squeezed something foreign in my pocket, the bulge unmistakable. He withdrew the panties from my back pocket and my giggle died, replaced by my mortified squeak.

He recognized what was in his hand as he held it up in the dim lighting. They were probably still soaked and as warm as my face. I wanted to die in that moment. My forehead dropped to his chest and I willed myself to try and slink away but he held me firm.

Clearly he could smell the arousal on them and he growled into the hallway, "Kami, Sakura!"

 _Please just kill me!_

This night was shaping up perfectly.

He rustled with his pocket before bringing his fingers underneath my chin, pulling my face up to gaze at his. "Let me kiss you, please" he begged.

I nodded my head quickly in response, glad that I didn't scare him off with my vixen ways.

He tightened his arm around me and slid his fingers into my pink locks as he slanted his hot mouth over mine. My eyes closed and I saw stars flicker behind my vision, I swear. That flurry of cranes took off again in my tummy and a burning heat pooled lower. I tightly grasped the front of his sweater, mewling as his tongue darted out to lick my lower lip. He groaned into our heated kiss, stroking his tongue against my own, abusing my lower lip with his teeth.

A sweat broke out on my skin for the millionth time that night as I felt my pores, my body, and soul come alive to this man. I unashamedly rubbed myself against him, forgetting who I belonged to and where I was. I felt him hard and hot against my abdomen and slowly began to realize where this was going, but did I care enough to stop? That must have been the sake talking.

With one hand planted firmly on my ass, the other snaked its way back to my hair and lightly tugged my head by from his. Our kiss ended with a wet pop and my chest heaved as I stared up at him, dazed.

He seemed just as much out of breath and closed his mismatched eyes, reigning himself in. I enjoyed that I had just as much an effect on him as he did me. He reopened his eyes and stared at me warmly, trapping me in this gaze. He gave me one last tender kiss before whispering against my lips, "I won't do this with you here. You deserve so much more than this, I know it."

I melted and swooned in his arms. This man was too much. What were we doing in this dimly lit hallway in the back of a bar? Clearly he had more common sense than me, and was also way less to drunk.

I nodded my head, biting my lip. He gingerly plucked it free from my teeth, muttering the word 'Nymph' to himself as he grabbed my hand and drug me back to our table, putting his turtleneck back in place to hide his swollen lips I presume. I unfortunately had nothing to cover myself up.

We made it back to the table where Shizune and Tsunade sat, breathless and giggling from all their dancing. Shizune had long since switched to water, while Tsunade clutched the remainder of the sake bottle to her chest lovingly.

They both glanced at the same time to see us walking up, first taking note of Kakashi's hand dragging me along behind him, and second to my flushed face and swollen lips. A knowing glance was shared between them as they hooted, Tsunade pounding the table. I rolled my eyes at their antics and saw a light dusting of red grace the top of Kakashi's nose. I giggled at his response as he rolled his eyes.

He turned his back to them once we reached the table, effectively blocking their view of me as he stared down upon me, trapping me in that gaze.

"I have to go," he muttered, eyes downcast as he took out his cell phone and fiddled with it a little.

He handed it over to me where I could see a fresh contact id had been started with my name staring back at me. It seemed a simple gesture but was monumental for me. After I did this, after I hit save, I felt like I would belong to him. I couldn't be with Gaara anymore, and that both hurt and scared me. Hurt because I didn't want him to have to be alone, and scared because I didn't know what he would do when he found out. But how many more times was I going to put his happiness and well-being over my own.

I typed out my phone number and edited my name, putting a kiss and heart icon at the end before pressing save. Sealing my fate.

I handed the phone back to him, tugging at my bottom lip with my teeth again as nerves wracked me.

He pocketed the device before freeing my poor bottom lip again, swiftly leaning down to capture it. I moaned unknowingly at the contact and he released me all too soon, shaking his head and licking his lips as he muttered to himself again.

He dismissed himself from our table, eyes lingering on me before he disappeared from sight. I stared dreamily after him, sad for our little bubble to be gone so soon.

I had it bad, already.

"She's got it bad Shizune," Tsunade snickered across from me.

I glared at her and pursed my lips, "Well it's _your_ fault."

Already dreading what I had to do next in my life. I steeled my nerves once again and took a deep breath, looking them both in the eyes, "I need to break up with Gaara."

* * *

 **A/N: Still with me? I know it's fucked, but who doesn't like a little drama!**

 **-Tk**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for all the responses and follows! Sorry this chapter is eons late. Please feel free to leave any suggestions or critiques! I strive to become a better writer.**

 **Adult themes this chapter, beware.**

* * *

 _3 years ago  
Subaku Household _

Stacks of textbooks and haphazardly written notes littered every available surface of the small bed tucked into the corner, along with the equally as small desk shoved adjacent to it. Gaara idly drummed his pencil against the surface of the old oak desk, contemplating how many more examples of data models and cubes he could take in before the throbbing in his brain intensified. At this point, he wasn't sure if the pain was worth his grade on the final…but he _was_ sure that it was worth the thick slice of chocolate cake he was promised.

His cell phone buzzed to life, quickly being snatched up by his overly eager digits. Promptly opening the text from Sakura he was rewarded with a picture that promised riches come noon tomorrow. All the ingredients for a chocolate cake were shining back at him from a kitchen counter.

She knew his weaknesses and fully exploited them to mold them into strengths if need be. Tomorrow, he'd be days away from having his second degree, and mere moments away from chocolate cake and one of his precious people. A ghost of a smile touched his lips as he set the phone back on the desk, content to finish with his studies.

Life had other plans.

Fast footfalls were heard on the aged wooden floor outside his bedroom door moments before his older brother burst into the room, purple and black paint flecks splattered on his face, and his chest heaving. It wasn't uncommon for Kankuro to get deeply involved with his art. So much so that his reality bled away, and it was only him and whatever piece he was working on furiously that remained. But this time as he stood in front of his younger brother, light sheen of sweat caressing his brow, and wide brown eyes that held an unknown depth of sadness and alarm to them, Gaara knew that his physical state was not attributed to his artistic fantasies - but instead to their twisted reality.

The ghost of a smile that had formed on his face was quickly wiped away - the edges of his lips turning down into a familiar scowl as he tampered down the bile rising in his throat. He grit his teeth against the sensation while unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists that rested on his knees. He took in a staggering breath, releasing it just as quickly from his nose before meeting his brother's gaze again. His hurt reflected equally in his own eyes.

"Please Gaara, she's at it again. Come quickly," Kankuro rushed out before turning on his heel.

Gaara stood just as quick, knocking his desk chair down in the process as he followed after the retreating back of his brother. Adrenaline coursed through his limbs while a myriad of memories flooded his eyes involuntarily. A nauseating feeling of dread blanketed his body, sticking to his skin like tar, as he replayed time after time Kankuro had come to him like this in the past. He wiped his now sweaty palms on the sides of his jeans, cursing the lack of control he had on his body as well as the situation at hand.

For the last 2 years he and his brother had been in this routine. It grated on him to see a woman he cared about so dearly destroy herself and subsequently those around her as well. Moments of clarity and understanding lasted no longer than a couple months in the beginning. Now they were down to merely days.

They rounded the corner into the dimly lit living room, immediately taking in the sight of their father subduing their mother on the couch. She thrashed violently, yelling obscenities at him, scratching any surface she could grapple onto. Their father's tear streaked face raised to meet theirs as he struggled to maintain his composure and hold on to the woman he loved. His physical grip on her wouldn't last much longer, as he'd lost the will to fight her long ago. In time, his emotional and theoretical grip on her wouldn't last that much longer either.

Gaara took in his surroundings in heavier detail - eyeing the broken lamp across the room and various items thrown to the floor - his eyes zeroing in on the prescription bottle opened with numerous pills littering the ground around it. His eyes narrowed into slits, honing back onto his father's face. His father had the decency to look down in shame, wave after wave of hurt and regret sloshing around in his dark eyes. He'd failed his family, his struggling wife specifically, again.

" _Where_ did she get those," Gaara grunted out before a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. He looked up into the familiar brown eyes of his brother who quietly shook his head at him. Now was not the time for an interrogation.

"Can't you see that she needs real help now? This is beyond us and what we can do for her dad, _please_ ," Kankuro pleaded with his father.

It was easier said than done in his father's opinion. Watching someone you love slip into addiction was difficult, and ultimately he had failed her by allowing such a thing to happen. Love, he believed, would no longer pull her out of this. Love for her was the one thing that aided and abetted her. He didn't want to admit that he'd said goodbye to the woman he loved long ago. She was buried somewhere deep within the recesses of her mind, drowning under the weight of something inky and black clouding her soul.

He desperately wanted to be the light to guide her out, but he felt he had only assisted in pushing her deeper. Instead of being the voice of reason years prior, he had diluted his rationality and instead clung on to stubborn hope like a small child. Ironic that the moment he chose to place the importance of his family and their dwindling relationships in the forefront of his mind, was the exact moment that he should have continued to stay apathetic and logical in his own opinion. Karura was never the same after her miscarriage but it was to be expected with her being in her mid-forties. But the glowing vibrancy she radiated while exclaiming to him about their expectancy was contagious. It hit him like a hot shockwave blast – endlessly heated and comforting – muddling all sense of reason. He _wanted_ to believe that love for her and hope would overcome any of their hurtles.

Sending her to get professional help unwillingly would be torturous on her mind and body. He'd read about it enough and talked too equally as many professionals to know as much. She was already hurting so intensely because of him. How could he force more of that upon her?

He looked down at her beat red face and blazing deep blue eyes glaring back at him. She was gasping for air, her pulse erratic beneath his fingertips holding her wrists in place. All the fight he had within him for the last few years left in an exasperated puff of air. His grip on her slackened, and she lunged from the couch onto the carpeted floor, scrambling for any medication she could find. He continued to watch in horror as his youngest son subdued her in the cage of his arms, whispering into her dusty brown hair as he scrunched his face in retaliation to the moisture pooling in his eyes. Rasa felt his heart break further if it could. He was a disgrace for failing Karura. For failing his children.

As Kankuro made his way to their house phone, dialing a familiar number, he caught his father's eyes. The look his father gave had him tightening his hold on the receiver so hard his knuckles turned white. His eyes were hollow now, devoid of the raw emotion he saw spilling out and down his face in the form of salty trails not even five minutes before. The look forced a cold chill of sweat to pass down his spine and he looked away, forcing his concentration on the polite lady asking what his emergency was.

It was the same look he would have in his eyes when he and his brother found him later, hanging from a tree in the backyard.

* * *

 _Present Day_

 _Sakura_

Everything was suddenly so hot – the heat completely encasing and sticking in uncomfortable ways. A harras of horses seemed to be running at full tilt across my thoughts, and shockingly my conscience, unrelenting and utterly dissatisfying. A dryness like no other tickled at the back of my mouth as if I had just tried to swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon to no avail.

I shoved one of the many offending pillows I owned off of my head as I rolled out from underneath my now thoroughly heated down comforter. Setting my feet on the cool hard wood, I scrubbed at my face and pink locks, trying to assess my physical state and the reasons for it. Suffice to say I felt like a train had hit me, but truly that couldn't be the cause.

I frowned as the familiarity of these feelings began to dawn on me.

The dryness in my mouth reared its ugly head again, and my calves tightened as I tried to stand - as if pointing to my obvious level of dehydration like a strobing neon sign. I scrunched my nose, regretting the movement as well as the previous scrubbing that jostled my head slightly, as the realization of my hangover scuttled over my thoughts.

In the next moment, two things happened unexpectedly. My cell phone buzzed to life on the nightstand just as a loud incessant banging reached my ears from the door to the apartment. I clutched my hands to my ears to shield them from both of the noises, realizing belatedly that neither would stop until I answered.

Releasing my hands from my ears, I reached for the downturned phone, flipping it over to see who was calling. A familiar face with blood red hair stared back with a mixture of a scowl and timid smile. As I slowly made out the features of his face, a kaleidoscope of memories of the night before played on repeat, assaulting my senses.

I gasped as my phone slipped out of my idle fingers; a bucket of cold remorse splashing onto my skin. Goosebumps raged across every visible surface of my skin; my body on full alert at the sudden onslaught of emotion. I recalled the drinks, the laughs, the music, and most of all I remembered _him_. I lifted a shaking hand to my lips, pressing it there as I recalled the way I had brazenly kissed him. A flutter low in my stomach had me recalling the ways he'd easily tied my stomach up in knots, playing me like some kind of fiddle. My heart sped as I recalled his mismatched gaze that trapped me _time and time_ again.

"Oh God," I whispered into the quiet room before it was disturbed again by loud rapping on the front door.

Could that be Gaara? I suddenly realized that I didn't want to know if it was.

I was a coward.

There weren't very many things that I had to atone for in my past. My father raised me to the best of his abilities, gently guiding me in the right direction at all times. It was confusing that suddenly a couple hours with one man had changed my righteous patterns as a human being so quickly. It was _frightening_ as well - thrilling if I was choosing to be honest with myself. Evoking was the word my racing thoughts finally settled on as I acknowledged the burrowing need to see him again that was clawing its way through the recesses of my mind.

But why? Why did I let the events of last night occur when I have never even acted with a wild bone in my body before? With a start I realized that while not entirely the truth, maybe this was half of the reason why I allowed what I did. Too often since I was young, I had been doing everything I should do, everything that I am _told_ to do. Because aiming to appease those I care about was more important than appeasing myself most of the time.

This wasn't just a wild night out where I got a little sloppy and acted out of character, though. Maybe that is the type of carefree person I actually wanted to be. I tried to reflect on the last time I had felt light hearted over the last 3 years. It was a distant memory, from the very beginning of my relationship with Gaara. When our days were filled with teasing on my part and mild irritation on his. When finding various forms of or ways to give him chocolate – which he _loved_ – was the crux of my thoughts.

Now? Now there was no balance between the good and the bad. I used to provide that for him – or so I thought. He's different now. I'm different now. I can admit to myself with my thoughts but never aloud that guilt has strapped me to his back for this long. Fear has kept me trapped in his embrace. He has already lost so much, so how could be lose me?

But I've already lost _myself_.

The guilt ebbing and burning the edges of my soul seemed to dull slightly, mutely acknowledging the hope blossoming from my center. This was a tender feeling I had not felt in so long, and maybe that was the other reason why I allowed what I had. There hadn't been another man the entirety of my adult life that elicited this response in me. The feelings of last night were laced with an unspoken softness and a whisper of promise.

My fingertips brushed across my lips as I clearly recalled his voice, thick with emotion, as he told me I deserved so much more. Perhaps he didn't know it then, but these words were screaming at me now for different reasons. I did deserve better and I deserved to finally make sound decisions for me. I desperately want my life to feel balanced. To feel like I am actually getting just as much as I give.

The knocking at the door returned with vigor and my heart rate sky rocketed as wave after wave of anxiety hit me. Breaking up with Gaara was a now or never thing, and I knew I wouldn't be ready even if I had rehearsed in front of my mirror for hours. I was scared and noted just how much as I shakenly snatched my cell phone up and slowly pattered towards the door. In case things got violent, I knew I would need it nearby. I hoped that today was a good day for him, but dismally realized it was about to get a hell of a lot worse for the both of us.

I took more than a few calming breaths at the front door and tried to smooth my bedhead as I schooled my features, much like I did before laying into a nurse who broke protocol.

I yanked open the door, sucking in a breath, but my words died somewhere in the back of my throat as I took in the 2 figures before me. "Ehhh?" I screeched as all the will I had gathered left me.

Tsunade, once again, leaned casually on the door jam, her face covered in obnoxiously large sunglasses and a scowl stamped on her lips as she stared back at me. Shizune stood next to her holding a bag of fast-food, but my eyes zeroed in on the box of cupcakes she was carrying. The pink box dotted with green and white called out to me, begging for me to take it. My hand twitched to make a move for it before Tsunade slapped it out of the way.

" Nuh-uh," she waved her finger back and forth in front of me before sauntering into the apartment, box of cupcakes now securely tucked away under her arm, "You made us wait out there for fucking ever, so now _you_ have to wait. We have plans we need to discuss so hurry your ass up!"

Shizune shrugged her shoulders in apology as she hooked an arm around my back, kicking the door shut with her leg before leading me back through the apartment, "You know how she is: always loud and straight to the point," she giggled.

"I heard that!" Tsunade shouted from the kitchen.

"So how are you? I know how that brain of yours works on overdrive all the time. Come sit and tell me every wrong thought that you've had since you got up!" Shizune said a little too cheerily for me, as she guided us to the dining table and began un-bagging burgers and fries.

I slumped into a chair and buried my head into my arms atop the table, groaning. I felt like a mixed bag of emotions and decisions. It was hard for me to come to terms with any of the changes I was about to experience in my life, let alone begin to know where to start talking about them.

I felt a wrapper nudge my arm and lifted my face, immediately being greeted by a double cheeseburger with fries. I glanced sideways at Tsunade, my eyes turning into almost slits as I assessed her and then the burger. She lifted a fry in the air and pointed it at me before speaking.

"Mayo, ketchup, and onions, just how you like, you little skank."

I grinned happily and picked up the burger taking a quick bite. I didn't even have time to properly chew my food before she had me choking with the next thing she said.

"So today, you're gonna bag Gaara," she rolled her eyes at the mention of his name and popped her fry into her mouth, "And then you're gonna take Kakashi to the sack" she wiggled her eyebrows at me, even after I started to choke.

Shizune rubbed my back tenderly while she shot Tsunade a glare, who continued to snicker and eat her lunch.

The cold clammy feeling of fear began to grip me again, and I wasn't quite sure I was ready to go through any breaking of hearts anymore.

Shizune's tender hand on my back stopped rubbing circles and slowly fisted the material of my loose fitting shirt. I looked back to her in question and was surprised to find lightening hot ire burning in the back of her orbs. It wasn't often that Tsunade or I ever saw Shizune with a temper. She was always so well-mannered and eager to please, often subduing Tsunade and occasionally me. For something to get her this riled up, it had to be serious.

"Don't you even dare, Haruno Sakura," my eyes widened at her prickly tone, "Don't you dare turn your back on your own happiness, not for one second. I've seen you give it up time and time again these last few years and enough is enough. Seeing the way you were last night, not only with us but with Kakashi as well, was a way I have been longing to see you for quite some time now."

Tears brimmed my eyes as I heard Shizune say aloud all of the things I had been trying to convince myself of.

"You know, you mentioned there was a glow about me thanks to Genma, and you were right. But honestly, I haven't seen that spark in you with Gaara since before you got into this disaster of a relationship. You hardly go out, we only get to see you if we beg Kankuro to play as a distraction - all you do is work and mope around with him. Bring that spark back Sakura. Bring _yourself_ back. Tsunade and I are willing to help with anything. All you needed to do was ask."

Shizune finished her rant, caressing my back one more time before shooting a stare over at Tsunade, who nodded her head eagerly before placing a gentle hand atop of mine. Shizune was right, her words bounced around in my head like an aggressive match of tennis. I wanted this potential happiness - even if it was a whim, even if it was a chance meeting - because so much more would come if it. I wouldn't be trapped, I could learn to be happy and do things for me. It occurred to me how powerful the notion of fear, and in addition the heavy feeling of guilt, was to me.

A tear slipped down my check as I sobbed, "But Gaara-"

"-Will be _fine_ ," Tsunade exclaimed, her fist connecting with the table. I swear I heard it crack, but couldn't bring myself to care. "For years we've been hearing this 'But Gaara' card. Enough, Sakura! I've finally seen you with someone that lights you up like a fucking slot machine that just hit the jackpot. I will _not_ let you ruin this or ruin yourself further!"

I angrily wiped my tears away, taking in the terse words of the two women I considered family. I knew they were right, and they did too. But it didn't make what I had to do any easier.

"I don't know how he'll react," I said quietly, "He's already lost so much. He-He might get-"

"He will not touch you. Leave that to us," Shizune whispered fiercely. I looked into her eyes and saw the truth in what she spoke, dumbly nodding my head in agreement.

Tsunade picked up a now cold fry, popping it into her mouth before eyeing my cell phone on the table, "How many times has the fucker called today?"

I looked at my phone but realized I had only witnessed the one in my bleary hung-over state. Picking it up, I scrolled through my notifications, noting 3 previous missed calls from Gaara at various times and a text from a number I didn't recognize. Anxiety began to rain over my senses as I thought about how angry or worried Gaara probably was at my not answering. I quickly tried to tamper the emotion down and rationalize to myself that it wasn't my job any longer to react that way, and surely he would find that out soon enough.

"4 times it would seem," I answered Tsunade as I opened up the text message from the unknown number.

The message read simply 'Sakura?' and was sent a couple hours ago after one of Gaara's phone calls. I scrunched my face in confusion, wondering if Gaara had sent the text from someone's phone number that I did not know, just in case I was ignoring him. I wouldn't put it past him to do so, but even still it seemed farfetched.

Tsunade poked me in the forehead where the skin was scrunched, "Hey, what's wrong with you? You look constipated."

I snorted at her snide remark before flipping the phone so she and Shizune could see, "I got this text from some random number this morning. I think it might have been Gaara but I can't imagine whose phone he would have used."

Tsunade snatched the phone from my hand, muttering something about there being only one way to find out as a sinister smile spread over her lips. I knew that smile, and I did not like whenever it made an appearance one bit. I lunged for the phone at the same time she hit the call button, growling in irritation when she held it out of my reach while hitting the speaker button. It trilled and trilled until a deep voice from the other end answered. A voice that clearly didn't belong to Gaara.

"Sakura?"

I stopped my squawking and gaped at the device dangling from Tsunade's fingers as she snickered with Shizune, drowning her giggles into the back on her hand.

"Ka-Kakashi?" Of course a flight of cranes chose that moment to erupt in flurry all over my insides.

"Hey," there was a smile in his voice as he said that simple word, mine easily reflected on my face.

"Hi," I replied, smacking Tsunade on the arm as she made kissy faces at me.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm probably breaking some dating code by contacting you not even 24 hours after I've gotten your number,' he lightly chuckled, "But you did call me, so I guess that means something right?"

My breath hitched and a train going at full tilt crashed into my thoughts at his words. _Dating_? My traitorous face began to heat as I took in the underneath the underneath of his words. He wanted to date me, that was clear, but not only did he want to, he was overly eager to. My mind and my heart were suddenly overwhelmed with emotion for the umpteenth time today. I couldn't remember the last time I felt wanted by someone. Needed sure, and certainly not in the best of ways, but wanted no. Maybe he would want to get to know me further, my likes and dislikes, my aspirations and goals, everything fluffy that went with dating a person.

Shizune pinched my arm, waving her hand in a hurry up motion to respond. "Yes, yes, that means something." I responded with a nervous giggle. I was going to be a basket case around him sober, I just knew it already.

"Great. So, would you like to see each other later?" He asked flatly, almost as if he didn't want to get his hopes up for my answer.

I was suddenly thankful that Shizune, Tsunade, and I worked like dogs at the hospital during this week to get off the weekend like normal people. In the same moment I wasn't so thankful that the impending conversation I needed to have with Gaara had to be soon. A matter of hours it would seem. I slumped in my seat before perking up at the pinch Tsunade placed on my hip. I looked up at her angrily and she matched my glare, telling me with lesser words that what I was thinking was exactly what was going to happen.

Sighing quietly I responded back to Kakashi, my voice coming out steadier than I imagined, "Yes, I would love to."

There was a beat of silence on the other end before he spoke up, the line dying after his soft spoken words, "I'm really looking forward to this, Sakura."

* * *

I hated waiting. More specifically I hated waiting to do something I never even wanted to do in the first place. Kind of like all the times I'd been forced to ride roller coasters front row with my friends. My anxiety would peak as we got on, and completely overflow as we ascended to the very top of the first drop, plummeting back to the earth. That was a little like how I felt right now, sitting on my coach, wringing my hands until they were raw while I waited for Gaara to show up.

Tsunade and Shizune had quickly convinced me after I got off of the phone with Kakashi that things with Gaara needed to be handled before evening time. I called him to ask if he would come over, to which he gave a terse reply of 'yes' after laying into me for not promptly returning his calls.

I couldn't tell what I was more afraid of: the way that Gaara would react physically, or the way that he would react emotionally.

"Sakura."

I looked up from my hands, into the sad face of Kankuro. Tsunade had called him to come over for damage control. The plan was for them to wait in my office while I hashed it out with Gaara, and to only intervene if things started to go south…which I would bet all of the money I had saved up that it would.

"It's okay. It'll be okay. He has Temari and I," he tried to placate me, but I shook my head vehemently.

"He's your brother. How can you be so calm about me breaking his heart?" I questioned incredulously. Surely on some level Kankuro had to hate me, regardless of any ties he may want to have with my best friend.

Kankuro rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before responding, "Listen, Gaara isn't and hasn't ever been the easiest to deal with. And I do love him - he and my sister are all that I have left - but I can't be okay with how he treats you any longer. Our mother would have never allowed this," he paused sucking in a breath as tears brimmed his eyes. "I can hardly even recognize him sometimes anymore, let alone you and what you deal with. I was grateful when you were the one thing holding him together, but Sakura, Temari and I have selfishly let you fall apart in the process."

I shook my head again at his words, desperately wanting him to know that I never blamed him or Temari for any of Gaara's actions, I only blamed the heavens and the cards they were dealt. He was a battered soul, one that I cared about and wanted to help.

"He should have been leaning on us, not you. We're his family. You know you're basically like family to me, and family is supposed to look out for one another. So let me do this for you," he stepped forward and ruffled my hair, "Besides, you would probably turn into a crab continuing to hang around the likes of him." He flashed me a smile.

His spiel and light hearted demeanor did little to quell my nerves but certainly made me realize how lucky I was to have so many people in my life who wouldn't think I was the bad guy in this situation. I only wished that Gaara would think the same.

A knock sounded at the door and my heart jumped into my throat while the pores on my body prickled into a nervous sweat. I stood on shaky legs and took a few deep breaths while I watched Kankuro walk into my office where Tsunade and Shizune were waiting for him. It felt like I was doing the right thing, but I couldn't be so sure.

Opening the front door, I was greeted with the same disinterested stare I had gotten used to over the last couple years.

"Hi," I greeted weakly, looking at his chin, unable to meet his eyes.

"Hey," he grunted out before striding past me.

"Would you like some tea? I'll go make us some while you si-"

He stopped dead in his tracks - the lean muscles in his back tensing before he turned half of his head to face me. He looked quizzical as a dark aurora descended upon him.

"You only make tea when you want to talk about something bad, Sakura. Spit it out. _Now_ ," He turned fully to face me after gritting out those words.

The finality in his voice left little argument or dabbling while fear gripped my spine in a vice. I shook my head, my bangs curtaining my face, as I tried to quell the wound that was already forming rapidly. Nothing about this situation seemed like I was in control, no matter how much I wanted to be. I crossed my arms over my midsection in a defensive movement of comfort while trying to gather my thoughts and the will to go through with this.

"No, no, I just-I just wanted to talk is all."

He crossed his arms over his chest, and I could feel his eyes boring endlessly into me. I still couldn't meet them, less all the shame and self-loathing I felt towards myself for what I was about to do would show.

"Then talk. I'm waiting."

I glanced around at the entry hallway, silently wishing we were closer to the office, but knowing the barricade between here and there was a 165 pound block of lean muscle and rigid anger. This was not what I had intended at all, but something within me knew nothing would ever go according to plan for something like this.

I took another deep breath, probably the millionth today, and raised my head fully to meet his gaze. Fear once again gripped me, spreading from my center and prickling through my veins like murky purple poison from the intensity in his eyes. I almost involuntarily took a step back, but froze when I realized what that would mean in this situation. Gaara and I knew each other and each other's reactions like someone knew the lines of their favorite novel. If I relent and show weakness for a moment, he will know he has won, and everything that I say hereafter would be packaged as a farce.

 _Trapped_.

That simple word echoed and bounced around my thoughts as I clearly recalled all of the times I had relented to him, which resulted in where we were right now. I refuse to be trapped and play mind games with him any longer. I loved him, but in a much different way now, and he needs to understand that. He can't trap me with fear or guilt. If he actually _wanted_ me, and didn't _need_ to control me, he should have loved me in all of the ways I deserve to be loved.

Dropping my arms, I placed one hand on my hip, channeling the small rivulets of anger cascading through my body. An invisible eyebrow quirked at my change of stance, but I continued channeling before deciding to pour salt into the already forming wound.

"I'm breaking up with you, Gaara."

Silence greeted me initially, tinged with mild shock it would seem. When he saw that I wasn't rushing to amend my statement, the shock wore off and the anger seemed to dig its heels into his back.

"You're _what_?"

If the situation wasn't so dire, I would have rolled my eyes, knowing he hates when people act hard of hearing.

"I said: I'm breaking up with you, Gaara."

His arms uncrossed and his fists clenched at his sides. I stared at them, willing him to calm down before he did something irrational and stupid. Each time we fought, I always wished I had gotten better than him at Jiu Jitsu, but my passion for it died out, much like mine did with Gaara. He was always the better opponent and kept growing until there wasn't much else for him to learn. I was always fighting losing battles with him: physically, emotionally, verbally, and mentally.

He advanced on me slowly, a killing aurora quickly replacing the one of anger that had settled upon him just moments ago. I backed myself into the hallway wall, silently pleading for the timid anger to return instead of the flurry of dark and raw emotion that was circling him now. This was the side of Gaara I hated the most - the side of him that developed sometime after his father's death and soon after his mother's. It was the side I feared the most. The side I saw more often than any other person in our lives.

He stopped in front of me, our noses almost touching as he painfully gripped my arms right below my shoulders. I winced as a tear rolled down my cheek. I wasn't sure if I was crying from physical pain, or from the emotional severity of this situation. Something in the back of my mind wanted to call the whole charade off, but I couldn't. I knew he was counting on intimidating me enough to change my thoughts and be thrust back into his vicious circle.

I refused.

I met his stare defiantly, even as my eyes shimmered with more unshed tears. His face hardened and I heard him physically gnash his teeth together.

"You are _not_ leaving me, Sakura. _Ever_ ," he yelled as he shook my arms caught in his grip. I whimpered helplessly as he continued on while pounding the drywall beside my head. "Do you understand me? You belong to _me_. And not you, or anyone else is ever going to change that."

I shook my head, desperately wanting to be out of the situation, and silently telling him that his words rang untrue to me. If possible, his eyes hardened further like steel and he gripped my chin roughly to meet his gaze.

"Why? Give me a good reason why you would want to leave me." He asked, trying to force sincerity into his eyes.

I knew his tactics and an old bait and switch when I saw one. This was no different, and I knew that no matter what reason I gave, it still wouldn't be reason enough for him. I opened my mouth to speak anyway, the words coming out a little garbled due to the grip that hadn't slackened, "Because I deserve to be loved in ways that you can't give me."

He looked perplexed for a moment before jumping right in to defend himself. "I love you, I show you that all the time, don't I? I treat you right, don't I?" A hard edge entered his voice during his last question that could hardly be disguised as a question. It was a statement that dared me to argue.

"Gaara, you treat me like shit. And if that is the only way that you know how to love, I no longer want it!" The slap he gave me still came as a surprise, regardless of me being tensely aware of all of his movements from the moment he walked in.

I let out a small screech, my hand flying to my face before immediately being pulled back as I winced in pain. My tears flowed freely now as I slid down the hallway wall, willing the ground to swallow me whole and surround me with a quiet bleak darkness that didn't at all resemble my reality. How could he claim to treat me right and love me, then put his hands on me the next second? I wouldn't make excuses for him this time. The wool had been pulled from my eyes finally, and I refused to chalk his actions up to raw emotion and a troubled past that he couldn't escape. He was supposed to love me. This isn't what love felt like.

He towered over me, having the decency to look ashamed at my crumpled form, weeping at his feet. "I didn't mean that, Sakura. You know that. I can't control myself sometimes." He bent down to try and trace a finger across my cheek, but I flinched away. Before I could tense, his hand had clenched into a fist, rearing back to hit me again.

A flash of movement to my left made me turn my head a fraction in time to catch the sight of a fist colliding into Gaara's cheek. He fell off balance, stumbling to the ground and grasping his face. He looked up astonished at my assailant. Tsunade stood in front of me protectively, daring him with her piercing amber gaze to try and make any moves towards me.

"You will _not_ put your hands on her in my presence!" she shouted at him. The venom in her voice was palpable in the air as the words left her lips, drenching over Gaara and locking him in fear for a moment before his ire got the best of him. He went to make a move to stand before Kankuro entered my line of sight, forcibly pinning Gaara down with his body weight. Confusion crossed over Gaara's face before he began yelling obscenities at his brother, threatening him with bodily harm as soon as he was free.

"This is for the best, little brother, I assure you," Kankuro managed to grit out while caging Gaara in his grasp.

The scene before me was surreal and I all but shut down as I watched Shizune open up the front door to allow Kankuro to drag his brother back to his vehicle. Gaara's eyes met mine before the door shut, promising that this wasn't over and frightening me with the murderous intent that boiled in his gaze. I didn't want to be caught dead alone with him ever again, in fear of what he would do to me.

Shizune came to my side, grasping one arm while Tsunade bent and grasped the other, both of them heaving my crumpled limbs off of the ground to stand. My tears kept flowing and they embraced me together, silently letting my fear, anguish, and heartache leave me in salty rivulets down my cheeks.

They took me to my couch, Shizune leaving to fetch some ointment from my bathroom for my face. I stared down at my hands in my lap, wave after wave of shame washing over me for having my best friends see me in this way. I was ashamed that even still I worried about how Gaara was feeling and how he would go on in days to come.

"Sakura?" Tsunade laid her hands over mine as I lifted my gaze to meet hers. She looked at me determinedly, willing my spirit to lift with her imploring gaze that spoke so many words of praise and adoration. "You are strong. Do not let him, or anything that he has done, define who are now and who you will be. This is a new beginning for you, and you will blossom, just like I knew you should have years ago."

She stroked my hair tenderly, as I felt my soul weep happily at her words of encouragement. So often she cheered me on and built me up like a motherly figure. I gave her a weak smile and nod, silently thanking her deeply with a look.

Shizune returned, brushing ointment on my cheek as I winced. She laughed, trying to bring a lightness to the situation at hand, "Oh, come on, Sakura! I've seen you handle male patients ten times rougher than this. I'm going easy on you."

She had a point, but that didn't make the stinging in my cheek go away. I crossed my arms defiantly, puffing out my cheeks in exasperation, but immediately regretted it as my cheek was still sore.

My doorbell rang out, which was strange because everyone I knew personally knocked, seeing as how I hated the shrill tone that was emitted. Perhaps Gaara had wrestled his way out of Kankuro's grip and had returned? My eyes bulged out of my head as I tampered down my fear. This was not what I wanted to deal with right now. But why would Gaara ring the doorbell instead of trying to bust down the door?

Shizune took note of the stricken look of panic on my features and rubbed my back in a comforting manner, "It's okay, Sakura. He won't hurt you anymore. We won't let him," she gave Tsunade a pointed look who happily agreed before standing up.

"I'll teach him another lesson if he likes," she commented while cracking her knuckles. I looked from her hands to the maniacal look on her face and happily decided in that moment that I was all too happy to not be Gaara.

She and Shizune quickly made their way to the front door, while I stayed behind on the couch, fidgeting. I was confused why there wasn't a whole lot of yelling or at least noise from a scuffle. Maybe Kankuro has returned because Gaara ran off? I wanted to make sure he was okay, so I quietly made my way to the entry way.

I approached the backs of Tsunade and Shizune who were speaking in animated whispers with someone at the door. I came to a stop behind them, peeking over their shoulder at the perpetrator, which didn't take too much effort because he filled the doorway with his lean form.

" _Sakura?_ "

" _Kakashi?_ " I all but eeped out. He wasn't supposed to be here for another hour at least. It was barely seven pm.

I watched as his face hardened and it reminded me so much of the look that had passed over Gaara's face at the beginning of our 'talk'. I involuntarily took a step back as he shoved between Shizune and Tsunade's shoulders to come face to face with me. He reached a hand up tentatively, gliding his fingertips over my uninjured cheek, his eyes searching mine. His mismatched gaze overflowed with passion and I was startled to know that it was all for me. My stomach tied itself into knots over and over as I acclimated to his presence and wondered what he would think of me once he knew everything. He cupped my chin gently - a staggering contrast to the way it had been gripped just previously – taking a deep breath as he gazed to the ceiling and back down again to me, like he was asking for strength from somewhere up above.

"Who did this to you?" the look he gave turned murderous as he barely whispered out his next words, "I'll kill them."

Protective Kakashi was officially my favorite Kakashi.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading!**

 **Please be so kind as to review : )**

 **-Tk**


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